What Are You Bringing to the Table?

What are you bringing to the table?
As singles searching for our soulmates, we are often admonished to ask ourselves what are we bringing to a relationship and potential marriage? Many singles conferences, singles groups, books, one-on-one coaching and even online dating services repeatedly remind us to take inventory of our best attributes so that we know our worth and we know what we have to offer a mate. The purpose then, is to compare what you have to offer another person with what you need from that person to ascertain if you are a match.
What DO you bring to the table? Well, our culture says that a man should have a job and a car and good credit and be able to wine and dine the lady. Likewise, the woman should have her own job/career/money, car, good credit, and be able to take care of herself---basically, not need a man. In celebrity marriages the parties sign pre-nuptial agreements to protect what they bring to the table in the event of the demise of the marriage. In too many cases, the individuals continue to function as two separate entities,  simply sharing living quarters under the guise of “marriage.” And it looks good from the outside. From the outside looking in, he goes to work every day, pays the bills, mows the lawn---he’s doing his part. He’s a real man. Likewise she keeps herself attractive for him, does not refuse sex EVER, keeps the house clean , and does not nag him about money. So why then is it that marriages still fall apart? And why are we surprised?
Well the answer to that is long and complicated and various. But I do have a proposition about what we bring to the table and how that affects the success of our marriages. Perhaps we’ve got it all wrong about what we should bring to the table and contribute to the marriage. Perhaps, it should be deeper and more personal than the shallow general requirements of having a job, car, and etc. Perhaps we should bring our PURPOSE to the table. Yes, you read that right. Your purpose. What am I getting at? Here it is: Men and women of God have certain duties and responsibilities to fulfill as husbands and wives. These responsibilities and duties are like a code embedded in our spiritual DNA and they are only activated by the presence of our respective mate’s PURPOSE. Let me explain. 
About a year ago, I ended my last serious relationship of a year and a half. It was miserable. We fought more than we got along but I held on because he had promised to marry me. There was no ring, or plans for blending our families. Whenever I brought up premarital counseling or a discussion about where we might live he got upset, offended and shut down. After a huge argument in front of my children, family and friends, I was done. Tired.  In a moment of frustration and utter pain, I mumbled, “I would rather be single for the rest of my life than to go through this!” At the moment I said that out loud I made a decision. I ended the relationship and I threw away all of my plans for a wedding. I turned my focus to my children and my job, and my PURPOSE. I got involved in SANA (Single And Not Ashamed) and my purpose began to take shape and become more clear. And when I wasn’t even looking for him, my soulmate showed up.
By pursuing my purpose, I literally called forth and activated my soulmate to show up in my life. Why? Because he was predestined to cover me and my purpose as the man of God he is.  He is ordained as my biggest supporter, my rock, my protector, my prayer warrior. My purpose—what God created me to do in this world---activates my soulmate’s role in my life. Similarly, he was pursuing his purpose when he found me. I was predestined to undergird him and his purpose with prayer; I am his biggest supporter, his soft place to fall, and as his rib—the protector of his heart. My role in his life is activated by his PURPOSE.  
So what should you bring to the table? FOCUS on your PURPOSE. Leave the matchmaking to God. As sons and daughters of the King we have arranged marriages anyway…but that is a topic for another day.  Put away the lists of must haves, deal-breakers and non-negotiables.  Turn off your clock and shut down your time-table. I know it sounds easier than it is. But when you get tired of the merry-go-round of chasing a marriage, and you whole-heartedly chase God, you will find it getting easier and easier. Is this not what Jesus meant when He said His yoke is easy and His burden is light? Is this not what He meant when He said, “Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you?”
#whatareyoubringingtothetable
#FOCUSonyourPURPOSE