Don’t Forsake Your Purpose Because Of Your Past
During a prayer call with some of the SANA member and when #SANAMama Mary Smith was speaking near the end, this topic dropped in my spirit. Considering we have over 1200+ members and we only hear from a very few, one has to wonder what’s going on. As a man with Aspergers Syndrome, I have a tendency to ask a lot questions within my own mind. So with that, here’s what is floating through my mind as it relates to this wonderful group: I believe many of you are here with the purpose of growing in the knowledge of God, how to be a leader in your community as a single man/woman of God. If this is you, then you’re definitely in the right group. Some of you are here for the mere fact of trying to sniff out the brothers to snag (or to sniff out the sisters to snag one). On behalf of the leadership, men’s prayer team and women’s prayer team, you’re in the WRONG group. Now, here’s the final reason why some of you are here (which will be the focus of this blogpost): I believe some of you reading this are sitting on the sidelines holding onto a lot of baggage stemming from multiple things (abuse, divorce, used, neglected, low self-esteem, personality/mental issues, and the list could go on). Some of you have a phobia of rejection, and a need for acceptance.
Can I take a moment and be transparent with you as a single man of God? I know this is not the norm for a man to be transparent in front of everyone, but you know there’s nothing wrong with testifying of the goodness of God. Some of the items I mentioned above I have actually lived through and yes, I still have struggles (which I’ll share some of them with you). OK, I grew up in a two-family home (my parents stayed married until the day my father passed – September 2012), and I have a younger sibling. Things seemed pretty normal until I was psychologically tested in pre-school; the end result was that I had Aspergers (a lower version of Autism). When I was 8, my mom’s half-brother came to live with us because he failed 4th grade. Although he’s two years older than me, he started physically abusing me, and two years later, he started sexually abusing me (which lasted for 7 months). Now keep in mind, I was on the verge of thinking this lifestyle was normal. It wasn’t until I was 11 that my female cousin introduced me to sex. Now watch how God does something in me. Although this was going on, there was always a hunger for me to know who Jesus is.
Now let’s stop and take a look for a minute at what’s going on: here’s a child at 11 pretty much being sacrificed to the devil (my mother handing me over to my uncle) in the natural. But in November of 1986, my female cousin & I stopped being involved – which brings me to my first testimony: since that month to the time you read this blogpost, I’ve been abstinent. Now, I lived my teenage years pretty much alone and I started writing poetry to get what’s on my heart out. I did graduate high school (my second testimony). Many kids who have been abused struggle with life. My mother was against me reading the Bible every day in the home, so God provided me a way of escape via the military in 1994 and I got saved in 1996 (my third testimony). In 2001 I graduated with my degree in Accounting.
So far, it sounds like God really brought me out. I know many people have stories similar where God brought them out.
What are some of my struggles? In 2008, I was diagnosed with PTSD as a result of the abuse I suffered from childhood. So, I’m in therapy. Even with that diagnosis, I released my first book a year later and would share a fictional version of my story 4 months before my father passed away.
The message is not to promote me, but to promote God and to encourage you to not forsake your purpose because of your past.
P.S. Perhaps you’re on the sidelines because you believe you need a mate to complete your purpose? That will come, God will provide as you get moving on your purpose. If you continue to sit on the sidelines, you are not only robbing God, you’re also robbing yourself and others your gift! God will give you more, as you get moving in your purpose.
In closing, know that in order to be effective in your community and fulfill the great commission of Jesus Christ in Matthew 28:18-20, you have to GO!!!
If you’re hurt because of what happened in your past, you’re in the right group. We want to pray with you, fast with you, intercede for you, because we are family!!!!
Besides, you can’t say you’re part of the team if you’re constantly on the sidelines. Get in the game, we need you!!!!
Blessings.
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