Love Yourself? By Joy Wilson

Often times as singles we are advised to learn how to love ourselves before seeking the love of another. Take yourself to the movies. Treat yourself to dinner. Buy yourself some flowers. Tell yourself you're beautiful/handsome. Well, I've done all of these things, and yet it was never quite the answer. If you're supposed to  feel like you have reached some sort of singleness mastery level because you checked these off your list, well... I definitely did not! No matter how many times you punch the “Loving Me" card, it probably will not bring you the love you are looking for.

Where in the Bible does God instruct us, or even encourage us to love ourselves first? Doesn't the Word say “You shall love the Lord with all your heart, and with all your soul, and all your strength?" (Matthew 22:37) Throughout scripture we are admonished to love God first, deny ourselves, and even lay down our lives for friends. So where did all this “love yourself," come from?

The concept developed from the theory that if you truly love yourself, you will not tolerate anyone mistreating you, nor will you abuse others. Nice idea, but contrary to the Word. And I know plenty of people who love themselves, but are still very unhappy. Self-love cannot cure loneliness. Self-love cannot sustain you during your singleness. Self-love cannot heal your broken heart. Self-love cannot rescue you from a difficult relationship. Self-love is not strong enough to pull you out of an abusive or dangerous situation. Only God's love can do all of this.

I John 4:19 says “We love Him because He first loved us." He loved us FIRST. That is the key. You see the problem with loving yourself is you must first be loved by LOVE Himself...God IS love. How can you love yourself, or anybody else if you are not tapped into the endless source of love?
In John 15:4 Jesus said, Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.
You cannot love yourself unless you accept His love for you. His love is patient, kind, longsuffering, and fearless. You cannot give, even to yourself, what you have not been given.
God's love is the only love that can rescue you. So whether you are in a relationship or not, good or bad, God's love supersedes all problems and issues and at the same time, God's love bankrolls your life with abundance of peace, and joy. That same peace and joy you're supposed to feel sitting at the restaurant eating a fabulous meal...by yourself.

It's not loving yourself that makes the difference. It's knowing He loves you that does, truly. When you know that all He did was for you. When you know that you are a precious pearl to Him. When you know that he has orchestrated a symphony to play the sound track to the wonderful life he has planned for you. Then, you can love someone else because you are choosing to love them from a full love tank. Self-love cannot heal your emotional wounds and fill your love tank. You must surrender completely to God's love. Take it all in, although you are not even capable of grasping the depth of His love! When you accept God's love you begin to see your true value. Your value to Jesus is the foundation for loving yourself. Not some prideful, materialistic list of activities you do for yourself.
So...yes I take myself to the movies and treat myself to dinner. Not so that I can brag about loving myself. I do it when I want, if I want, just for the pure enjoyment. I only love me because He loves me. He loved me first.